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Don't judge harshly

that which the soul

pours forth in its own discovery!

by year




You walk from a crawl but one day you will fall
And crawl all over again.
From birth to life, to death and ashes,

Your life it changes from shackles to sunglasses.

From night til dawn, from light til it's gone,

Your life it changes, keep your eyes on the horizon.

Your pain today, I have known,

Soon it will be yesterday, you'll have grown

And again I'll be beside you.




Why is it I wait for you?

There is a love here at my side

And he is waiting for me.


It seems there is a road I travel

But your memory wanders the same direction

And I keep offering it a ride.


I come home when I walk into your eyes

But here at home,

He’ll walk through my door

And then it’s his eyes I have to look into.


So maybe I’ll travel another road

Close my eyes and pretend that I am blind.

But still it won’t leave you behind.

Coz you live here in my mind.

You live here at my side.


I tried to be with him

But your presence stirred within me.

He let me go and hoped,

That I’d be happy someday.


For the times you’re not here-

Times too often.

The closest friend

I find in him

And he is always here.


Why is it hard to tell

Who should be a lover

And who is meant to be a friend.

How do you know in the beginning,

Who will be there in the end?


But reason and love

Know nothing of

Each other.

Then it doesn’t really matter

That  we’re still apart.
Because you live here,

You live here in my heart.



Jan. 1  1997




He’s been my precious torment

In between the times we’ve had

If you can’t lose what you ain’t never had

Letting him go can’t be that bad

I guess it’s time, I’ve got to go now
Gonna tell my heart this is where I’m at

I’m not gonna wait any longer

Won’t be easy, but I like it like that.


Goodbye baby


Goodbye baby


If I die another day I’ve wasted

If all this time for hime I’ve waited

Truth and faith gonna pray sweet Jesus

Prove I’m worthy of this faith that I hold.


So I guess it’s time, I’ve got to go now

Tell my heart just where I’m at

I’m not gonna wait any longer

Don’t make it easy, I like it like that.


Goodbye baby


Goodby baby


One day I’m gonna quit you baby

And right now looks to be the best time

I thought I could wait forever

But I’m here at your crossroads.


I guess it’s time, I’ve got to go now

Tell my heart this is where I’m at

I just can’t wait any longer

Gonna take it easy I like it like that


Goodbye baby



Jan 1997





Love grants silence

Where lovers need no words

Thoughts create smiles

Like energy from a touch


Eyes that whisper

To the soul that is the ear,

A heart that beats

Because another breathes


Their bodies you see stand so near

But amongst the stars they are dancing...

We are dancing- like birds in flight

On angel breath.


And so we have existed-

Only not yet you are mine.

I await your return

The smile, the whisper, the dance divine.


Jan 15 1997




Time passes

Your soul

Through darkness-

Or is it I no longer see your light?


So long

It’s been

I cannot see in your eyes,

I can only see your face.


Are you still in His love-

Or is your soul now out of place?


Guard your sacred space-

I hope my love still leaves its trace.


Wander far?

I’m sure you wouldn’t

Our of His love, His light-

You couldn’t.


From the ones who will break you.

Pray- for the ones who will take you

Toward the light.


Jan 22 1997





Can’t stay awake too long

I want this lonely day without you gone.

I want to be back in the dream I had last night.

You and I were only walking

And how I loved to be there talking with you.

But then I woke up and I laughed alone.


I’ll find another way to you

At night I’ll sleep and yes it’s true.

Somehow with you I know I’ve been, or so it seems.


My heart has found the other way

Though you are so far from me this day

Tonight I pray my spirit stray to you, see you in my dreams.


Wonder if you think how long

All this time apart has done us wrong

Wanna talk with you back by your side.

Somewhere in time there is a place

And how I’d love to see your face again.

But here I need only to close my eyes.



Feb 18, 1997





(This is a lyric that I ripped off and altered from one of my poems)


Across the field the raven flies

With death upon my door he cries

Nothing to cling to yet I remain

No water of love to help sustain


So to you I’ll run

My Lord, My Light

I’ll run to you

My love, my guiding light.


To get up I’d walk the darkest day

An angel kneels at my side to say

You’ve grown weak, indeed alas

But this my dear will come to pass.




Faith in me falls sometimes silent

Where courage is a tiny voice

Still, in the darkness you are here

So divine your love, it heals my fears.





If life was easy we’d grow weak

There is a light for us to seek

No matter what sadness fills our lives

There is a reason, let faith arise.


Apr 2 1997






The one who has to wander far

Dear lover for a season

Not to wander back

Until destiny finds a reason.


My lover who midnight crowned

The keeper of my heart

The one who one midnight soon after

Time had named that we would part.


The lover of fewest words I’ve spoken

But to converse within your eyes.

Our smile or two first shared

That was soon to hypnotize.


Wonder in the moment

When to me you  first had spoken

Painful was the moment

When my heart was softly broken.


I know you would have stayed

Were it not for things impossible

Stayed for one more long glance

Of our fascination inexhaustible.


August 3-7, 1997





Love turn to me

In case I never see you again.

Time be kind, and heal him for me.

Love never had in mind, a future for us.

And though I know, you know, I tried.


Despite the  pain I know you’re going through

I bet that I’m still lonelier, lonlier than you.


Coz I’m alone, I await

Here alone

Waiting for the one, who’s been on my mind.


And though he’s far away, far away from me.
I still believe that we, though now lost, will find our way.

We never said goodbye, just left us for some other time.

I wish that I could know or let go of him.


Despite the pain I  know you’re going through
I bet that I’m still lonlier, lonlier than you.


Coz I’m alone,

I await

Here alone.

Waiting for the one, who’s been on my mind.


Coz I never could forget his eyes,

I’ve been trying to free him from my mind.

That’s why I’m lonlier than you.

Coz I believe, I’ll forever be waiting

For him.


Sept 1 1997




The Lord’s love lasts long

Longer than the grasp of what can only try

Try and try my faith.

Test and torture my soul.
My soul that Jesus already saved,

And God will always love.

Triumph over torture,

Let truth transcend my test.
This test that I now know

How to lay my pain to rest.

Seek light, seek strength

I know my way though the darkest day

To let the Lord and Love

Here within me stay.


Sept. 26 1997






Goodbye last time it wasn’t said

For it did not cross upon our lips.

Instead, your breath was ll I heard

As you whispering your return in that haunting, fateful word.


Not long and we were to meet again

October the word that was to be our time.

I waited and listened ‘til autumn’s last leaf had hit the ground,

And as it did there was still no sign that you would be around.


Only your memory remained, and the promise and echoes of October.

And what would be the word that to now my soul would cling?

Seasons weathered it strong this word ‘faith’ that I would hold.

Indeed our word foretold, come four October’s our story would unfold.


Four years long and since, Lord knows it’s been so long a while.

For years we could not share a word, nor even a gentle smile.

Yet soon you shall arrive, how will I know if we’ve endured?

Breathless, could I speak, and if I had but one, what would be the word?



October 5 1997




Like the moon you were my light in darkened skies

You set the path I would not stray, gave me light to find my way.

You were the one, you and only you were of the Sun.

All day I would adore and at night what I looked for.

And with my eyes wide I could find your light that darkest clouds could never hide.


So why to my surprise has this love met its demise?

How could the moon ever fall from its place in our sky?

Why is it the moon can hypnotize

But too soon the sun it stings my eyes?

Where do I stand when your light has turned to dark,

To break my heart, with mere words upon your lips-

Must be your soul now in eclipse.


I had to look to see if I could find-

Your love

Though I’ve fallen blind.


I don’t want to see you turn away from me

I don’t want to know which way you’ll walk when you go

Because if I can’t see, I could still believe that you want me.


Oct. 13, 1997






If it had only been coincidence

Upon the moment I had sensed you

And into the room you had soon appeared,

We never would have joined

And to each other would have never been endeared.


If it were but chance

Upon another meeting

Where you had wandered to my side,

Your memory would have mellowed

It would be sure to soon subside.


Knowing it is your spirit that orbits my own heart

If it was but only lust

My faith in Light you would not impart.

For it it were less than love

That shines upon us its sacred light,

The laughter would not have been angels

That walked beside us on our fateful night.


Oct 14, 1997






Closer now than then,

Towards our future do we stumble.

Closer once again,

Towards our future how I wonder.


Our past reads

Of but a line upon a script

Dream affair, a dream indeed,

Sweet love a phantom partnership.


Faster than it seems,

Slower to our hearts.

Gentle love unseen

Cast on my desire.


Out time it passes through

Graceful, guiding hands.

Hands that reach out for us,

With faith that understands.


Brighter than it appears,

A light within our eyes.

A step beyond reality,

We see through fate's disguise.


November 3, 1997





So long my eyes have traced your portrait

That if I fell blind

My hands would recognize your features by heart.

And if again we were to never kiss,

The sound of air passing the eloquence of your lips as you breathe

Would cast your face upon my memory.

I’ve held your image in my eyes so long

That if another was to stand before me I would feel lost.


Perhaps to light a candle for every time you’ve wandered through my mind,

I might light the way from creation to infinity

For as long within my soul you dwell.

And if someone other were to walk within my thoughts

They would be cast away by the ocean of memories I have for you.

To walk at my side,

He’d be swept away by the wind that only whispers your name.
The same wind that silences every candle-

Saving but only flames that shine with your light.

If there were not a myriad of candles,

But only one of boundless heat and light

To fire an exclusive chamber in the temple of my soul,

You would be seen as the keeper of its flame.


You who I have seen,

You with the shimmering eyes.

Eyes that shine like moonlight reflecting upon the waters of your soul.

The one whose face I see even in the greatest darkness.

The virtuous glow that if I was to lose

Would be sure to lose my way for-

I see your face, I see the light.


December 14 1997

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